Quiet The Mind – Expand The Heart

Why is it so challenging to quiet the mind when it comes to matters of the heart? Sometimes, no matter what tools we leverage, navigating the chatter in our head to connect with and hear our heart feels like a futile effort. What can we do when we are faced with this challenge?

Generally, it is our fear of loss that ignites when we are faced with potential change that involves the heart. This causes our mind to create plans for how to navigate the change and wonder what will come next. It is as though a piece of us is dying and, for most of us, we don’t desire to die in any sense.

What do we do to return to our heart?

What I have found to be most beneficial is to actively choose to look at the circumstance as expansion and not death. What do I mean?

Think of it like adding a room on to your house. When we make the decision that our home could use more space, we also know that we must be willing to navigate through the discomfort of the construction in order to enjoy the beautiful new space. We don’t look at the demolition of a portion of our home for the addition as death of the space. Instead, we see it for what it is – building onto something we love because there is more that might be done with the space.

This is how I view matters of my eternal home – my heart. It is an opportunity for me to expand the divine love within – adding room after room with each experience. When the chatter of my mind inevitably arises, I remind myself that any discomfort I am feeling is simply the building process – soon the construction will be complete and I will have a beautiful new space to add to my experience.

With love ~Amber

Do We Hold Onto Life Because We Fear Death?

This discussion came up after watching a show where one of the characters had a heartfelt monologue about how fearing death is what makes life worth living. His point was that death gave life value. Fearing the loss of life made it worth something.

While I understood the point of the scene and do agree in some ways, I guess I look at this a bit differently.

I don’t fear death, yet I still find life incredibly valuable and embrace every single second of it fully and completely. I do this because I truly love life. I love the way the sun and breeze feels. I love the way it feels to laugh with my friends and family. I love the opportunities that are presented to me for personal growth and development. I am grateful for every moment and recognize it as the gift that it is.

In my view, my life has value because it is filled with love – not because I fear its end. If I have lived each moment fully, then in the end I will have many beautiful memories to take with me. What is there to fear in this?

EMBRACE LIFE – LIVE IT FULLY.

Whether it is death that gives it meaning for you or love that drives you forward…live while the gift of life is yours.

To Do Something That’s Never Been Done Before…

Have you ever had visions of doing something that you haven’t seen done before? What keeps you from doing it? What stops that vision from transcending your dreams and entering into your reality?

For most of us, it’s fear. 

You see…in order to do something that’s never been done before, we must be willing to do something that’s never been done before.

This means that we must be willing to stand out, be different and allow ourselves to navigate through all doubts (even those given to us by those around us) to bring that vision into reality. Very few world shaping inventors/individuals had everyone around them saying, “Wow, that’s a fantastic idea!” And, if you read their stories, most doubted themselves and their ability to bring forward their visions during the creative process.

What allowed these amazing people to move forward?

Their dedication to their vision transcended their doubt. Their passion and love for their purpose allowed them to strive forward through each setback. And, their belief in their ability to do something that had never been done before brought each creation into reality. They listened to the comments of those around them, but took it as feedback toward their creations – not reasons to stop their momentum.

Do you feel called to positively contribute to the world by doing something that’s never been done before? Don’t give permission for fear to hold you back. Move beyond doubt. Allow yourself to be creative in your own, unique way and bring that unique spark to the world. 

Be The Hero Of Your Own Story

As you embark upon 2017, allow each action that you take script the story you desire to share with the world.

Lead by action and example more than words.

Commit to revolutionize YOUR world through your interactions and allow others to witness all that’s possible as they see your life’s story unfold.

I AM

Over the holidays I have had the joy of hosting my family. I love them dearly and always feel blessed to share time with them. But, like all families, there are consistently opportunities to observe and break cycles that aren’t serving us any longer. 

 

As people, we grow and shift over our lifetimes. As families, we don’t always recognize this growth and shift within one another and may not honor it until the lack of honoring is pointed out. Often, to one another, we are the roles we have played throughout our lives (the role of mom, dad, little brother, big sister, etc.). We find comfort in these roles and forget that we are people beyond them.

 

So, when we gather together for events such as the holidays, we have a tendency to fall into our respective roles. But, if one or more of us has grown in a way that takes us beyond our role, it can shift the entire dynamic of the group. 

 

What do I mean?

 

For me personally, I now understand that I am unconditional love, kindness, strength and patience and I use these aspects of who I am to play the roles of mother/daughter/sister/life coach/meditation practitioner. Once I leave this world I will continue to be unconditional love, kindness, strength and patience. These are the energies that make up the very essence of who I am. I will not continue to be a mother/daughter/sister/life coach/meditation practitioner. These are roles I have taken on to experience life.

 

Why does this matter?

 

Because, when my role as wife fell away, it didn’t take away who I am. I was not defined by my role. I know who I am. And, when my family worries for me (as families do – and in great excess over the holidays), I am able to not participate. Instead, I am able to connect with who I am and continue to draw upon my strength and unconditional love.

 

Do you know who you are beyond your roles? Take time to connect to what makes you who you are and embrace these aspects of self fully. Love all that you are, and through this love, allow others to see you and love you too.

 

Frozen By Fear

Earlier this week my partner Austin and I had the pleasure of being at the San Diego Zoo. As we walked around to visit with all of the animals we noticed something that seemed a bit odd. Where all of the other animals had large cages or enclosures around them, the giraffes only had a small wall that held them into their place. With such long legs and such great height, it was easy to see that these animals could simply jump over the wall if they ever chose to – so why didn’t they? We were both incredibly puzzled by this, so we asked. The answer…

 

Giraffes are afraid of their own height so they won’t attempt to step over anything if they can keep from it.

What does this mean?

 

These animals have every ability to walk out of the enclosure that holds them and explore the world around them, but they don’t. Not because they are captive by the enclosure itself, but because they are held captive by their fears.

 

Isn’t that like many of us? We put reasons we aren’t stepping out into a new environment on our current environment. But, the truth is, our current environment is a small wall. All circumstances can be rearranged if we desire them to be. The only thing that truly holds us back is our own fear.

 

Life is an experience! If you are happy in your current environment, enjoy it fully and completely. But, if you desire to explore new terrain, don’t allow fear to hold you back. Step over that wall and embrace what is on the other side!

——-

Can People Change?

Some quotes stick with you once the words echo in your ears. For me, this has been the case with Maya Angelou’s quote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” 

I found myself in an internal struggle with these words. I believe that things are rarely what they appear to be on the surface. That, even when we remove the masks and facades that we tend to wear as people, we are incredibly diverse and complex beings.

To state that someone can show you who they are the first time means that you are projecting the assumption that this person fully understand who they are within themselves.

Now let me ask you this, how many of you fully understand who you are in this now moment? Fully…completely…truly?

We are all on this journey of discovery. To judge and evaluate another is to limit our opportunity to know them. This is not stating that we shouldn’t set healthy boundaries as we are all finding our way.

But, to assume that people are unable to change mirrors back that we, too, are not able to shift as we learn more about ourselves. Is this the path we are choosing to walk?

I love and honor Maya Angelou and thank her for the opportunity to consider these words. I may not align with them, but I am grateful that they sparked the chance for me to look deeper within and understand why.

That is the strength in words and the very point in this post. We aren’t all going to agree and we aren’t all going to align. But,  we are ever changing, ever exploring, ever shifting in our awareness. What you know and believe today will likely not be the same in five years and certainly won’t be the same in fifty years.

So yes, in my view, people can and do change ♥ often.

Why Do People Cheat?

In Life Coaching there are many topics that arise, but cheating is a fairly consistent theme.  From cheating on partners or diets to cheating for financial gain or recognition, this act of dishonesty leaves most wondering why it happens at all – including many of those who do it.

I have observed a fairly consistent pattern in those who cheat and this is what I would like to discuss in this post. I’m not claiming it to be anything other than my observation and I am posting as something for those who are interested to consider.

But, before we get to the pattern, let’s make certain we have a common definition for the word. Cheating is defined as:

 1. act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage.
2. avoid something undesirable by luck or skill.

Now that we have a common definition from which to base this discussion, what is this pattern that seems to be present in those who do it?

It’s quite simple really, the ego is out of balance (either too high or too low), often leading to a desire to control, avoid or seek validation from external sources.

Let’s begin with those who have an ego that shifts from balanced to high. These individuals tend to cross the line from confidence to conceit and begin to desire power and control. Those who hold this desire begin to feel justified in doing whatever is necessary to generate an outcome in their favor. If this includes acting dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, then that is what they will do. The drive to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events far outweighs the desire to be honorable in principles, intentions and actions. These individuals often evaluate their self-worth by their external power and control.

Now, what happens when ego goes the other way? Individuals who have a low ego (low self-esteem) tend to seek balance by obtaining the approval of others. When they don’t feel worthy enough, they may also attempt to avoid the feeling with alternate sources (food, drugs, alcohol, etc.).

Why is this important to know?

When your sense of self-worth is centered and balanced, there is no need for control, external validation or avoidance. The desire to cheat in any fashion is gone. There is a realization that there is simply no need for it. You feel whole and complete as you are. You are in this state of self-love and self-confidence that is neither low nor high. It is a beautiful state of being and completely achievable.

How do you achieve it? The first step is to understand where you fall in your own self-esteem and self-worth in this current moment. Once you have the strength to look at where you are, you can begin to understand what it will take to navigate through any tendencies that are preventing you from being balanced.

It isn’t easy to face ourselves and realize that we may have growth to do in the area of balancing our ego. But, not admitting it is cheating ourselves out of a truly blissful state of being.

Remember: Only when we are completely, totally and fully honest with ourselves can we begin to transform into what we truly desire.

 

Namasté
Amber