Loving Support – Relationship Tip #5

In every relationship there generally comes a point where the person we care about begins to act in a way that makes absolutely no sense to us. They find a hobby that we simply don’t relate to or they make choices that we can’t understand. It can be any number of things. The question is, how do we respond?

The answer may be one of our greatest opportunities to be an expression of unconditional love – we can choose to navigate beyond our feelings and support the person we love in their choice.

If we react or respond to their choices with anger, disgust or fear, all we show them is that we don’t respect their ability to make decisions.

Everyone desires to feel valued and respected, especially by those they love. So, no matter how greatly we may feel our response is justified, we must always ask ourselves: what matters more – our response in that moment or the overall impact our response will leave on the person we love?

If we feel the decision our loved one is making could be harmful, seek to understand why they are making the choice. Get to the root of the desire, then navigate forward from this awareness. Is it a desire for attention? Are they seeking something else completely?

Above all, it is how each of us choose to respond that will determine if this opportunity will bring our relationships closer together. Be aware in each moment as you navigate through it.

Do We Hold Onto Life Because We Fear Death?

This discussion came up after watching a show where one of the characters had a heartfelt monologue about how fearing death is what makes life worth living. His point was that death gave life value. Fearing the loss of life made it worth something.

While I understood the point of the scene and do agree in some ways, I guess I look at this a bit differently.

I don’t fear death, yet I still find life incredibly valuable and embrace every single second of it fully and completely. I do this because I truly love life. I love the way the sun and breeze feels. I love the way it feels to laugh with my friends and family. I love the opportunities that are presented to me for personal growth and development. I am grateful for every moment and recognize it as the gift that it is.

In my view, my life has value because it is filled with love – not because I fear its end. If I have lived each moment fully, then in the end I will have many beautiful memories to take with me. What is there to fear in this?

EMBRACE LIFE – LIVE IT FULLY.

Whether it is death that gives it meaning for you or love that drives you forward…live while the gift of life is yours.

I AM

Over the holidays I have had the joy of hosting my family. I love them dearly and always feel blessed to share time with them. But, like all families, there are consistently opportunities to observe and break cycles that aren’t serving us any longer. 

 

As people, we grow and shift over our lifetimes. As families, we don’t always recognize this growth and shift within one another and may not honor it until the lack of honoring is pointed out. Often, to one another, we are the roles we have played throughout our lives (the role of mom, dad, little brother, big sister, etc.). We find comfort in these roles and forget that we are people beyond them.

 

So, when we gather together for events such as the holidays, we have a tendency to fall into our respective roles. But, if one or more of us has grown in a way that takes us beyond our role, it can shift the entire dynamic of the group. 

 

What do I mean?

 

For me personally, I now understand that I am unconditional love, kindness, strength and patience and I use these aspects of who I am to play the roles of mother/daughter/sister/life coach/meditation practitioner. Once I leave this world I will continue to be unconditional love, kindness, strength and patience. These are the energies that make up the very essence of who I am. I will not continue to be a mother/daughter/sister/life coach/meditation practitioner. These are roles I have taken on to experience life.

 

Why does this matter?

 

Because, when my role as wife fell away, it didn’t take away who I am. I was not defined by my role. I know who I am. And, when my family worries for me (as families do – and in great excess over the holidays), I am able to not participate. Instead, I am able to connect with who I am and continue to draw upon my strength and unconditional love.

 

Do you know who you are beyond your roles? Take time to connect to what makes you who you are and embrace these aspects of self fully. Love all that you are, and through this love, allow others to see you and love you too.

 

Frozen By Fear

Earlier this week my partner Austin and I had the pleasure of being at the San Diego Zoo. As we walked around to visit with all of the animals we noticed something that seemed a bit odd. Where all of the other animals had large cages or enclosures around them, the giraffes only had a small wall that held them into their place. With such long legs and such great height, it was easy to see that these animals could simply jump over the wall if they ever chose to – so why didn’t they? We were both incredibly puzzled by this, so we asked. The answer…

 

Giraffes are afraid of their own height so they won’t attempt to step over anything if they can keep from it.

What does this mean?

 

These animals have every ability to walk out of the enclosure that holds them and explore the world around them, but they don’t. Not because they are captive by the enclosure itself, but because they are held captive by their fears.

 

Isn’t that like many of us? We put reasons we aren’t stepping out into a new environment on our current environment. But, the truth is, our current environment is a small wall. All circumstances can be rearranged if we desire them to be. The only thing that truly holds us back is our own fear.

 

Life is an experience! If you are happy in your current environment, enjoy it fully and completely. But, if you desire to explore new terrain, don’t allow fear to hold you back. Step over that wall and embrace what is on the other side!

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