General

Why Do We Lie?

“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” 

Why are we compelled to conceal the truth with falseness? Is it love or fear that drives the decision?

I am now one of those annoying people who will not lie. I may choose not to participate in a conversation or may tell someone directly that I would prefer not to answer a question, but I will not provide a false answer to “protect” or “save” someones feelings. I do this out of love and honor for all that I am sharing my time, space and energy with – including myself.

I am the first to admit I was not always an Honest Abe. Previously, I had the perception that it was better to tell a little white lie, one that wasn’t necessarily hurting anyone, than it was to hurt someone’s feelings. After all, we all do it. In fact, we are so conditioned to it twoman-hiding-behind-maskhat we nearly desire others to lie to us to save our feelings. In many cases we would rather be told that we look nice in something than be told the truth if something doesn’t fit us well. In essence, we have created a culture where it is better to be false than to speak truth.

But, I have now come to realize that every time I was false I wasn’t only false to the person I had told the lie to, I was also false with myself. I wasn’t speaking from my heart so that I might face my experience. I was speaking from what I believed others desired me to say so that I could avoid it. In doing this, I was denying myself the opportunity to realize the true value in the exchange. Over time, that had an impact. I had missed many opportunities to grow on a soul level, and to possibly assist other in the same way. My unhealthy avoidance cycle through little lies in an effort to keep the peace ultimately prevented me from speaking my truth.

Once I took time to observe this cycle and choose to end it, this was the lesson I found:

Nothing good ever comes from a lie – big or small. If we desire something true, we have to be truthful first – both with ourselves and those around us. It all begins within. 

 

2 thoughts on “Why Do We Lie?

  1. Amber,
    Outright lying is wrong, but where I come from not saying anything is the same as lying. Your are being deceitful, deceptive, too nice (I am accused of this one all the time.) Concealing the truth with falseness/not saying anything is wrong. Not saying what you truly believe is WRONG. You are then stressed and while you may be sparing someone else’s feelings at the time, you are doing them no favours in the ultimate end. Eventually either the truth comes out and then you are looked down on for being weak (too nice,) deceitful, or deceptive which from their point of view you just lied (see line two of this email…)
    This PC (politically correct) assumption has just been pushing everyone in the wrong direction so that you HAVE TO LIE!! Right now you have two sides with the nicy nice’s and then the radical scream (everything being wrong/against them (I am choosing not to elaborate here, but if you ask I can explain (me being nice!))I have friends working in jobs where they have to keep their mouths shut because if they speak the truth they will be out of a needed income. This causes them so much stress. They have to lie everyday about things (ignoring/walking away is not an option) so they can support themselves and their families. It is not a morals judgement, it is todays “approved” society. Lies are how todays society (out of necessity) SURVIVEs. Like it or not, lies keep you going. From my point of view, politically correct is lying!
    To me, the biggest lie today is how society is run and then how many people believe the lies they are told!! Of course their believing the lies irritates me!
    Deb
    Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2016 14:15:36 +0000
    To: soper_d@hotmail.com

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